Healing Rollercoaster

There are days I think I'm losing my mind.

James would tell you that I've ABSOLUTELY lost my mind and there's not chance of recovering it. 

Because some days, I think that I have it figured out (well not all, but the few things I do well), and then there are days that I think I am totally wrong about EVERYTHING and I need to go crawl under a rock. Or hide under the covers for a year or so until Hannah is fully recovered.

The ink hadn't dried on the blog post that I wrote (ha, ink. That's funny.) and Hannah was sick again. SERIOUSLY???  You can't get sick! I just wrote that you were a new kid! All healed and stuff!

Dang it.

This is reason number 3,582 why I probably need to be committed. But I hear Pineville is closed these days. Or not taking new patients. 

Hannah woke up on Wednesday morning around 1am screaming and crying in pain saying her feet were killing her. She was freaking out because she fears the strep infection is coming back. 

I don't blame her.

I was freaking out too. As was my hysterical I mean worried family.

So I called my friend Claire who "gets" this process. She understands that natural healing takes time. That there is a place for western medicine and prescription drugs when they're needed. And that they aren't poison but can help. But she also realizes, like I do, that the pharmaceutical industry has these doctors pumping out WAY more meds than are necessary, and that there are natural methods to healing that are so much better for our bodies. If there is a natural option for us, that's the route we will go. If she is not healing, then we will supplement with prescription Rx meds so that she can get over this.

This is called integrative medicine. And Lafayette DESPERATELY needs an integrative or functional medicine doctor who understands the benefits of supplements, herbs, and homeopathic treatment as well as being able to give us the best possible option on western medicine if her case warranted it. 

We are dealing with a beast of a bacteria. Streptococcal-A bacteria is a monster. And I wish I didn't know it so intimately that I don't even have to look it up to spell it. It's definitely not my friend. It's a punk that's invaded my kid and I want it out of her.  If I was diagnosing her, I think she has cellulitis in her left ankle. She had it when she was 10 months old so I'm familiar with this illness. It's the same strep bacteria that causes the skin to be red, swollen and tender. Her ankle has all these symptoms. It makes sense that as the medicine has pulled the strep out of her body that it would lodge in her feet on its way out of her body. 

My job as Hannah's mama is to make the absolute BEST decisions possible for her. 

I just have to remind myself that if she takes a (yucky nasty horrible no good) antibiotic, that it doesn't mean I'm a bad mom. It means that she needed the (yucky nasty horrible no good) antibiotic.

I'm tired and weary from this fight.

I need a break.

And I'm still holding out for that Xanax.

Please pray for us.

"Come unto me, all ye that labor, and I will give you rest. 

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and lonely at heart.

 And you shall find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." 

~ Matthew 11:28-30